He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
