You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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