Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
