Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize