I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
