Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
