I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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