My brain says no but my pants say off.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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