So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
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After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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