worst night to have a conscience
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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