i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
His nipple licking is glorious
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