ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
