ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
