I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize