dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
