so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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