Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
