I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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