Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My liver is preforming stress tests.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
