thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
