I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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