there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Acid is not a monday night drug
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
