I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
