that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
