I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
