Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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