I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
