how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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