Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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