Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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