i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
