OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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