any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's never too late to be topless.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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