Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
