Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
