I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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