youre lurking in front of me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
