Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
