I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
