dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
