I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
