Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
