Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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