You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
