using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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