I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
