EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
