I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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