we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My boob is missing a layer of skin
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
