I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
bring money and cleavage
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
