I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
