Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
