I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize