I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
one might say we're banned from that church
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
