Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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