I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
