Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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