CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
