awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
