You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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