Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
