Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND