Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me

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  (203): my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me http://tfl.nu/4hqg
  Replies (15) Good night (1041) Bad night (2517)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.

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  (904): the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar. http://tfl.nu/n52w
  Replies (42) Good night (8707) Bad night (696)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.

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  (617): So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park. http://tfl.nu/bxwf
  Replies (13) Good night (2790) Bad night (738)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Your dick is once again the conversation topic.

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  (407): Your dick is once again the conversation topic. http://tfl.nu/okqh
  Replies (12) Good night (4528) Bad night (564)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.

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  (413): The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again. http://tfl.nu/v6ko
  Replies (19) Good night (7950) Bad night (1345)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?

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  (856): My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic? http://tfl.nu/h7hc
  Replies (13) Good night (5762) Bad night (813)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.

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  (321): Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever. http://tfl.nu/nab2
  Replies (10) Good night (2899) Bad night (776)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?

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  (513): Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket? http://tfl.nu/gja3
  Replies (14) Good night (1366) Bad night (4526)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"

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  (206): it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting" http://tfl.nu/ix3k
  Replies (8) Good night (3168) Bad night (1072)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now

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  (203): Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now http://tfl.nu/p7dd
  Replies (2) Good night (1288) Bad night (633)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.

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  (360): What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is. http://tfl.nu/1m0s
  Replies (11) Good night (2209) Bad night (581)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..

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  (201): The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in.. http://tfl.nu/ctm0
  Replies (5) Good night (1216) Bad night (533)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."

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  (478): I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions." http://tfl.nu/mmu9
  Replies (4) Good night (684) Bad night (317)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.

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  (360): I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar. http://tfl.nu/n37f
  Replies (0) Good night (318) Bad night (212)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of

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  (404): How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of http://tfl.nu/yhrq
  Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (384)

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