Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.

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  (209): Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy. http://tfl.nu/mqdd
  Replies (25) Good night (1937) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?

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  (720): well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you? http://tfl.nu/2ont
  Replies (24) Good night (793) Bad night (2855)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.

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  (802): He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR. http://tfl.nu/1otj
  Replies (40) Good night (4206) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.

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  (440): Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing. http://tfl.nu/x35s
  Replies (51) Good night (10521) Bad night (1568)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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  (417): Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library. http://tfl.nu/8guv
  Replies (13) Good night (1036) Bad night (4835)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.

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  (224): I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/1jen
  Replies (12) Good night (7144) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?

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  (720): New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future? http://tfl.nu/5rnd
  Replies (45) Good night (5436) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store

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  (616): bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store http://tfl.nu/dcxn
  Replies (7) Good night (3420) Bad night (1334)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.

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  (614): It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead. http://tfl.nu/yvss
  Replies (11) Good night (1039) Bad night (3891)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks

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  (610): dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks http://tfl.nu/8rbl
  Replies (20) Good night (2127) Bad night (3705)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.

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  (702): whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag. http://tfl.nu/wos6
  Replies (4) Good night (2526) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league

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  (973): I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league http://tfl.nu/mvb2
  Replies (2) Good night (1317) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Great news I took pics last night

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies

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  (908): Great news I took pics last night (908): Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies http://tfl.nu/mrta
  Replies (2) Good night (823) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.

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  (904): At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed. http://tfl.nu/y86x
  Replies (5) Good night (363) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.

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  (858): I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain. http://tfl.nu/q8gg
  Replies (2) Good night (305) Bad night (188)

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