i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.