She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
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ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
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I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Let's paint friendship bongs
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?