oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done