Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
