Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize