yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
