Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
