I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
