Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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